It has been a month since I was diagnosed with ADHD. For me it felt like a closure. Being unaware of having the condition before the diagnosis… it feels I have dealt with its consequences my whole life. I was often burnout, master interrupter, too forgetful, having depressive rumination… I just thought I was a bit weird.
As much as I tried to have a good workflow during the photoshoot, there was always a moment that I would put my camera down… turn around and forget about where I have placed it. It has always been like this every photoshoot.
One of the great advantage of being a photographer is I get to meet different and wonderful people. And one fateful day, I met Draco… pretty, funny, very perceptive and full of life and energy. It was 2 hours photoshoot full of fun and laughter. There were moments I had to apologize to her for being forgetful and for being in a “hyper-period”.. like in hurry for no reason. And then she asked… “Do you have ADHD?”
I froze… it was like I’ve never had an answer to a question before. It may be ADHD all along.
It was like a realization that maybe I do have ADHD. But that moment I just felt that I finally know where to start.. where to go.. the beginning of finding an answer. On that same day, I booked an appointment to get the diagnosis and that appointment did changed my life. I also joined social media groups which talks about ADHD and it was mind boggling.
More and more… I realize… I have a love and hate relationship with ADHD. There are times when I feel it helps me and there are times when it can be hindrance on my daily life. Everyday, I am learning more and more about ADHD and this makes me feel less alone and helps me to manage it.